Tap To Transform : Ruth

Sleep is a precious gift. For those of us who suffer insomnia, we appreciate and celebrate when we can sleep. Without sleep, we lose energy, focus, lack motivation and joy..and the list goes on. There are studies indicating lack of sleep can prevent us from losing weight as well.

It became my mission to conquer insomnia without medication. And the real secret I learned to overcome this problem is to learn the manage the anxiety that rules the sleepless nights.

On a typical day, we can get stressed by small and large problems. These stressors build not only in the mind, but in your body as well. Our body takes on significant physical changes when we are overwhelmed and stressed. Unless we begin to manage this, we will comprimise our immune system and ability to sleep.

What can you do?

1. A great way to start is to journal before you sleep. Ask yourself - what am I feeling and thinking now and during the day , that might still be unresolved, bugging me or worrying me? Write it down. Just getting it on paper moves it from your head and out of you. Then use EFT to reduce or eradicate the negative emotions.

2. EFT - Emotional Freedom Techniques is what I use with myself and my clients to manage the emotions that arise to reduce anxiety. You can visit my website   www.taptotransform.com for more information on this and see the product page for the new DVD I produced to heal insomnia

May you sleep blissfully tonight!

Judgment which is a part of ego; keeps us separate from others. It means we are perceiving others as less than. Judgment is the root of prejudice and it perpetuates labeling others. Often times we are worried others judge us; and I often remind clients that a wonderful way to lessen the fear of being judged is stop judging yourself.    A simple formula to stop judging is this:

RECOGNIZE THE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS AND JUDGEMENTS

SAY THE WORD “STOP” IN YOUR MIND

REPLACE THE JUDGEMENT WITH A NEUTRAL OR COMPASSIONATE THOUGHT

Here’s what it might look like:

Why is that woman buying all that junk - she’s already so fat? Doesn’t she get that?

STOP

She has an addiction- just like most of us who are out of control with something. She’s struggling.

Notice the difference in how you would feel about this woman by replacing your thoughts with compassion. The judgment melts away!

DOES THIS SOUND LIKE YOU?  FOR MORE INFORMATION TO LEARN ABOUT SELF IMPROVEMENT THROUGH POSTIVE THINKING; GO TO WWW.TAPTOTRANSFORM.COM

The Ego is a construct explained by many spiritual authors and Buddist teachings. For a long time,I have been fascinated to learn about ego and its effects on our state of being. In reading work by Wayne Dyer, Marianne Williamson and Eckard Tolle, I have compiled a description of the ego and higher self.

The Ego is the part of us that keeps us separate in this world - in relationships, in nature, and from God. Dyer writes the ego means to “edge God out”. The Ego is the part of us that is stuck in negative critical thinking filled with judgements. The Ego is never in the present; rather it is focused on the past or future and filled with fear. The ego is fear based rather than love based. So for example the ego will interpret situations in a negative frame - looking for what is wrong. The Ego is not at peace - either in anguish about past events or worried about the future. Ego creates or feels conflict and turmoil. It is difficult for the ego to be present as the mind is always spinning and obsessing; the Buddhists would call the “monkey mind”. The ego either feels inferior or superior in situations and often unconscious about feeling or acting this way.

We all have ego as we are human. To transform out of ego to experience life in compassion and love; we want to move to our “Higher self”.The higher self is conscious of feelings and its goal is to be present. For it is only in the present we can feel inner peace. Higher Self looks for the good and what is helpful; looking to reframe negative situations. The Higher Self feels connected to everything (nature, people, God) and this connectedness brings inner peace. The Higher Self is love based rather than fear based. In other words it looks for compassion rather than judgement.

What are some ways to move toward the Higher Self?

Using positive questions when feeling critical or judgemental to move out of this state is a great tool to move out of negativity. Some great questions include:

What’s another way to look at this situation that is more helpful or healing?

How can I look at this with more compassion?

If my friend thought this, what would I say to help them?

What can I do now to move out of this bad place, thought..?

What evidence do I have that this situation is really awful?

Right now,  do I need to be right or am I seeking peace?

Eckard Tolle and  many Buddhist teachings, teach us the importance of breath mediation to bring us back to the present when we are stuck in past or obsessing about the future. Just taking moments to come back to breath. You can’t be stuck in past or future when you’re still. When you are still and breathing, you are present. And when you are present you can begin to feel the inner peace the of your Higher Self.

Clients will often ask why we focus on the negative part of the problem as we tap. I believe it is important to honor the negative feelings as they arise which then can give space to inviting the positive reframes later. I’m sure you’ve had the experience when upset and someone said,”Don’t worry, it’s not that bad, let’s think of the posiitve in this situation”. And you just wanted to slap them! You might not have felt heard as you needed some time to process the feelings of sadness or anger at that moment.  With EFT, you tap on a few rounds of the feelings that are coming up. And when your SUDS (rating) goes down some; you can then invite positive reframes to uplift you.

The next question clients often ask; is what do I say. There are really no right or wrong words. I did come up with a technique originating from NLP (neuro linguistic programming) that can be very helpful to structure your statements. NLP looks at how the mind/brain processes information and communicates information The 3 main ways we process are: Visual(V), Kinesthetic(K) and Auditory (A).

Visual means how we see the world and we say things. A visual person will say, “I see what you mean” or “I can visualize that”

Kinesthetic means we process through our feelings and we say things like: “I feel so good about this”, or” I can sense it really means alot” or “I love going to the movies”

Auditory means we process through our self talk  and we say things like “I can hear that voice in my head” or “I have this knowing it will work out”

How to put this into practice with EFT?
Let’s say you’ve been tapping on insomnia and the stressors that are feeding into it. After you’ve tapped a few rounds on the stress;  ASK yourself what is I want instead of insomnia? I want rest, I want this to be easy. Using your answers you can plug in the different modalities of Visual, Auditory and Kinesthetic. Play around with it.Here is an example:

Starting with the eyebrow point (EB)

- I allow myself to rest deeply tonight (A)

- I sink into my pillow and feel the warm cozy sheets (K)

- I see myself resting peacefully and effortlessly (v)

- I love going to sleep and letting my thoughts just drift (A)

- Feeling a calming white light melt all around me (K)

Using the different modalities can enhance your abiltiy to reframe your situation to happier and hopeful state of mind. Please see the tab on EFT to learn about the meridian points.